6 Pillars

Part of taking care of yourself as a parent, a spouse, or an individual is balancing out all areas of your life. Often when a parent first comes in to a session the first thing they ask me is what I can do now to get things changing fast. My answer is always; get your marriage in line and start balancing out all other areas of your life. We are raised to think that the influence a parent has comes from their rewards, punishments, resources, or strong presence. In fact your influence is going to increase dramatically by finding balance in your life.

What I call “The 6 Pillars” all need time, effort, and energy. While it may not be equal in time and effort, you must constantly seek to balance out these pillars. The pillars are:

1. Spirituality

2. Your relationships

3. Hobbies

4. Career and education

5. Fitness, health, and nutrition

6. Mental health

I don’t know what is out of balance, but as a parent you cannot infinitely live out of balance and be an influential parent. So often I meet with parents who have let go of friendships, given up hobbies, stopped seeking spirituality, and have let go of their own fitness and health. It is hard to let go, but sometimes being an effective parent means letting go of parenting for a moment and focusing on yourself.